On a normal day, I don’t care much for sports. I never played any in high school or in real life, and my hummingbird attention span certainly can’t handle keeping track of scores and shirt colors and penalty kicks, etc. But since I’ve been traveling in Europe the last couple of weeks and it’s the UEFA European Championship, all I’ve heard about or seen being watched on TVs randomly placed in the streets is football.
Spontaneous applause breaks out on a sidewalk café. Odd, fervent chanting rolls through a crowd. Groups of strangers loudly unify and begin throwing obscene hand gestures at another group of spontaneously unified strangers. All this means that chances are a football game is showing on a nearby television.
I’m in Croatia now and since their team lost to Portugal, the country has been rooting for Poland – who recently played a match against Portugal and its team of supremely hot hotties. I won’t lie. During the game I was semi-forced to watch while having dinner at an outdoor restaurant, I was rooting for the team with the sexiest guys. And quite frankly, Portugal spanks Poland’s entire ass when it comes to hot footballers. It may very well have been Portugal’s galactic level hotness that eventually won them the game against Poland.
I won’t pretend to know the name of the guys on the team although I think most people in the world, me included, have heard of Cristiano Ronaldo and his gorgeous body. Doing “research” for this blog post, I formed a healthy appreciation for him, especially shirtless and spread out in magazine centerfolds. But he was in very good company indeed on the field.
Overall, football is a great spectator sport. Even spectacular, if you will. All those thigh muscles on display. The sweat. Guys climbing all over each other and ecstatically hugging it out after a win. Heaven on a field of green.
This entire trip has been good for sightseeing of every variety. I’ve always been a proponent of equal opportunity ogling and there are few places back in the States where a beachgoer can get more than bare chests on the beach. In Europe, and a few other places where Europeans generally vacation in large numbers, the men come out in their speedos and assorted swimming briefs to accentuate the sparkling blue waves and delicious hot sun on the sand. I love walking on the beach and being treated to the sight of both men and women in their itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny bikinis. It’s a kind of egalitarian exhibitionism and body confidence I can totally get behind.
Between the beach, the gorgeous castles all over Croatia, the views of the bridges and palazzos on the canals in Venice and, of course, football season, this summer is shaping up to be a fantastic one indeed.
The only possible way to top this is guys in Speedos playing football on beautiful beaches all over the world. Is there a sports club, like the women’s Lingerie Football League, for this? If not, there should be.
Do you have a favorite footballer? Are you a football fan for reasons other than the sweaty men? Let me know in the comments below.