Donna Alward is back at Pink Heart Society this month, talking about the trials and tribulations of being married after years and years. PLUS she's got a GIVEAWAY for one lucky reader...
I was scrolling through a list of potential topics for today's blog when one jumped out at me and I thought "yes, I can write about that"! It was "how you keep the romance alive after 5, 10, 20 years of marriage". Now, I'm in my forties, I work, I have kids, and I KNOW my husband will say "Romance? Hah!". Those of you who've been married a while know that the, well, wilder "romance" years are often behind us when life gets a little heavier. But I can say this: a week ago we celebrated our 19th anniversary. And we're still going, and we still love each other, and I think I appreciate him more now than I did even five years ago. No, I KNOW I do.
|Aren't we adorable?!|
Marriages are always tested. There are times when it seems easier and then times when it's hard. When people are stressed for any number of reasons. It could be work. It could be health, or money, or just life in general. We've been together for over 23 years. I'd be lying if I said it's been all roses and sunshine since then.
But we're still here.
And lately I've heard about other couples splitting up and I simply thank God that we're still here.
Why do some relationships last and others not? I don't really know. I do know that the last year or so has been really, really rough. I've had a lot of work. A LOT. Deadlines on top of deadlines. And our kids are teenagers and ask any parent who is bringing up teens or has been through that war zone and they'll tell you IT IS NOT EASY. I love my kids and I'm proud of them and they are smart and wonderful and it's still a hard, hard job. I've found it very, very difficult. But know what? I feel like my husband and I are closer. I think when marriages are tested, when times get rough, it either brings couples together or pushes them apart. Have I mentioned how glad I am that it seems to have brought us together?
And when I say brought us together, I mean being in a place where we can rely on each other. That at the end of the day there's one person there, your rock, that will snuggle up to you under the covers and hold you close and tell you that you can get through anything together. And mean it.
One of the things we did last winter and that we'll be starting up again soon is Saturday morning breakfast. Our kids have a rehearsal in the mornings, and after we drop them off we frequently go for breakfast, just us. After years of never going on dates, it's something we really got to enjoy.
I'm also lightening my schedule a little this year, to help with both my stress level and my time commitments, so I can enjoy my family a little more.
I don't know what the magic ingredient is. I don't know why some couples make it through and others don't. I just know that as I get older, I get ever more thankful that he married me. I hope he feels the same way, even though I'm far from the perfect wife.
In the spirit of marital bliss (or partners or what not) go ahead and post something lovely in the comments - either advice for keeping that romance alive, or something you're grateful for in your significant other. Let's make it a real love-fest!
I'll choose one commenter to receive a kindle copy of Treasure on Lilac Lane, my new release on the 28th!
Find out more about Donna Alward and the rest of her Jewell Cove series at her website, as well as on Facebook and Twitter.